Things That Suck

10 Things That Suck

10. The Tiki Room at WDW's "New Management"

I love the original Tiki Room! It's so fun and happy. I think that the only way to improve it would be to update the electronics and make the robots movements a little more fluid. So what did Walt Disney World do ? They added a cheap audioanamatronic Iago and Zazoo, who pop up and outright insult Walt's original dream. Item 1289 on the list of things that would make Walt role over in his grave, next to the half hearted effort that was put into Disneyland's version of Splash Mountain, Disney being responsible for launching the careers of Brittany Spears and Miley Cyrus, and...basically 90% of the things Michael Eisner did as CEO.

9. Shuffle on the iPod

23388. That's how many items I have in my iTunes. My favorite playlist has 911 songs on it. So you would think that putting it on shuffle would give me a pretty good variety right? NO. My iPod will play the same band sometimes as often as 5 times in a row. And as far as that playlist goes, It basically repeats the same 50 songs, no matter where I start it. There are loads of songs on that list I've never had it shuffle to, but almost every time I turn it on I will hear the Glee cast recording of Don't Stop Believing, Nicest Thing by Kate Nash, and Lua by Bright Eyes. All great songs but I would occasionally like to hear "Forever in bluejeans". Also has anyone else noticed their iPod shuffling in a strange pattern? Sometimes its cool, like when I'm working out and it decides to randomly select all motivating tough guy music like "Eye of the Tiger" "My Hero" and the The Theme from Flashda...I mean...Knight Rider. But sometimes I swear my iPod thinks I'm gay. "Oh you want some music? ok I'll play you some showtunes, then some bee gees, oh you have ONE Barbra Striesand song out of 23388 songs? PERFECT! This will usually happen when I have friends over.

8. Moving
Here are some things that look more fun than moving:







And here is what I learned from the experience:

7. The Electric Piano

The A Bomb didn't cause as much irreparable damage as the electric piano. It is the epitome of cheesy. When was the last time you tried watching a movie from the late 70's to early 90's? It's so hard to ignore the crappy music. There is some really superb music from that time period that would be timeless if it was just played on an acoustic grand, but instead everybody decided to go electric and now their music is stuck in the unquestionably dated black hole of crappy 80's music. The best example I can think of is Les Miserables. If that soundtrack was performed entirely by a live symphony and real acoustic pianos it would be timeless, but the more time goes by the closer it gets to becoming a bad cliche. In case you are not convinced, observe the following:

6. Utah (excluding southern Utah)

While thinking of things to put on this list a lot of things went through my mind. Utah drivers: No where on earth will you find a bigger bunch of jerks than on a Utah road. If you want to merge, they will cut you off, if there are four people in front of you driving slowly, the guy behind you will still tailgate you like it's your fault. If you want to drive in the fast lane, someone will inevitably be going the speed limit or slower to try to make some kind of point. Utah Weather: In the summer it's dry and arid, In the winter it's cold and wet. Utah People: I like a lot of Utah people so don't be offended if you live there, but the majority get a thumbs down from me. Almost everyone there is of my own faith, LDS, but the most vocal and visible of the Utah mormons make us all sound like a bunch of close minded, red neck, religious nuts. A large number of Utahns are also pushing for an Arizona like immigration law, racist dooshes. Oh yeah, and then there's Utah's high taxes, and then the fact that everything closes before 10 pm...so eventually I just decided to go with Utah in general.

5. Kesha

Making being a trashy whore trendy.

4. Bands that are awesome releasing a crappy album/Sequels that ruin the original movie

I made these two one to keep my list at an even 10. It's a heartbreak we've almost all experienced. You find that album you love, you have it on repeat until your significant other threatens to leave you if they hear it one more time...at which time you have a serious debate with yourself about the which means more to you. Then you hear that said awesome band is FINALLY coming out with a new album, you go out and buy it at midnight on the release day, you pop it it and THEN...blah...or worse...ugh. It's like finding out that the 10 you've been dating for a year used to be a dude. You know you enjoyed it at the time, but now everything is ruined.

Examples of this are:

Brand New - Epic Win - Deja Entendu

Epic Fail - Daisy

Midlake - Epic Win - The Trials of Van Occupanther

Epic Fail - The Courage of Others

Ever seen Smokey and The Bandit? If not you are totally missing out. The Bandit is one of the most personable characters you'll ever see. The kinda guy every guy wants to be like. So I bought the sequel without having ever watched it, and in the sequel, for some reason, all of the sudden The Bandit is a total prick. It took me years to forget that enough to enjoy the original like I used to.

3. The 80's then and now

Why!? WHY WHY WHY!? Basically everything sucked in the 80's. Can you believe that there was a time when people used to wear spandex leggings, or mom jeans, and listen to crappy synth heavy pop music...oh wait...THEY'RE BACK! How could we let this happen?! It's proof that the worst parts of history will always repeat itself. When will we learn?

Acceptable_________________Unacceptable

2. Glen Beck

Ever since I voted for Obama my family thinks I'm a Democrat, or a liberal, or various other labels. On the contrary, I'm very apposed to political parties and Glenn Beck epitomizes why. The guy is a complete idiot. The ratio of fact to bull $#** that comes out of his mouth ought to be enough to keep even semi intelligent people from listening to anything he says, but they do because he is such a vocal proponent of the things their party stands for.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Back in Black - Glenn Beck's Nazi Tourette's
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

1. Terry Jones

Sure, you could hate him for his plan to burn the Quran on September 11th, or for claiming that Jesus would have done the same, or for the 10,000 other things he's said and done in the last week to establish himself as the America's biggest *#*$. I hate him for one more reason. For stealing American Chopper's Paul Sr's Mustache!

Sure, it might not seem like a big deal, but when was the last time you heard someone say "charlie chaplin stache"? It only takes one idiot to ruin a good thing.